Sayings for 80th Birthday

You have found some of our Sayings for 80th Birthday and may we add "Congratulations" to them. Some are short, some long, some funny so we hope you find what you are searching for or one that you could adapt to suit your needs. These are free for you to use for non commercial purpose.










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Sayings for 80th Birthday

I bow to the master/mistress

To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living.
Henri Frederic Amiel

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I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.
Bernard M. Baruch

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By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
George Burns

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Because today’s your birthday,
And because you’re extra nice,
One wish is not enough for you
And so here’s wishing twice...
Hoping your Birthday’s wonderful
In every single way
And next year brings happiness
For you day after day!

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Sayings for 80th Birthday

I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.

Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch onYou work 40 years until you're too young to work.

You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.

Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then . . .
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully
in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating,
room service on tap, and then...
You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

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Sayings for 80th Birthday

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.
Dave Barry

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You've survived another year.
Although you're older,
it's better than the alternative

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Sayings for 80th Birthday

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I decided, is a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair over my body, the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. I am often taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken.How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)

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Sayings for 80th Birthday

Some senior jokes

Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a beautiful rose tattooed on one boob.
One woman leaned over to the other and said, "Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket.

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Getting old is so hard at times. Yesterday I got Preparation 'H' mixed up with Poli-Grip.
NOW, I talk like an asshole...but my gums don't itch!

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Sayings for 80th Birthday


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